Saturday, September 6, 2008

personal identity

I was reading a blog the other day about stay at home wives. Apparently, CNN or another outlet did a piece on SAHW. I know nothing of the actual piece, just my friends thoughts on it. I am not a stay-at-home-wife, nor was I ever, but I am a stay-at-home-mother. I have been a SAHM for over 8 years. I consider it a full-time job and not to be frowned upon or considered less worthy than a “career”. I often think of how sad it must be to “have to” work outside the home. And as far as stay at home wives, if that is what they choose to do, then I am sure that it is quite fulfilling and honorable.

I do struggle with thoughts of “should I do more”. I often find myself bored, even with 4 children between 10 and 3. All my children are now away from home for a better part of the day. I am not all together thrilled by this but feel it is important for my 2 younger boys to be in their 2nd language environment more than 2 hours a day. The older one will begin national school next fall.) So, the question of what to do with my time becomes even bigger. What should I do with the extra free time? I don’t feel that anything outside the home is encouraged nor do I really want a “Real job”. I have several hobbies that can be very time consuming, but are these in the best interest of my goal in living here? I keep my house fairly straight all the time (thus the OCD in the title) by separating my chores out to one or 2 a day. So, cleaning house won’t keep me busy. I have often thought I should write a book, or write praise songs or paint pictures or something that would benefit others spiritually or something but I don’t think I am gifted in any of that. I can’t even keep my blog thoughts from going in circles! My dilemma continues. I guess I am in a self-discovery phase of life.


Claire's Nana said...

I saw your reply to Mentanna's blog and wanted to contact you. My husband and I are coordinators for the missionary parent group in Houston and are looking forward to meeting your parents at our next meeting in a few weeks. When I saw your name and your son, Caedon, I made the connection and thought I would check out your blog. Our son and his wife, Daniel and Tiffany Kilcoyne, are serving in Marseilles with the Campbells. If it makes you feel any better, I started a blog two times and can't seem to keep up with it either.

sherylann said...

Hi! I am glad to see your new blog. I love the design! As far as your thoughts, I think what you do is very noble and worthy! There's nothing I'd like more than to someday get to be a stay-at-home mommy. But I can understand how you feel a bit at a loss with the newness of having an empty house for a few hours a day! I would say that as a single, I sometimes have a different (yet similar) quandary. I have so many things going on and am always always busy - but then I wonder, "Am I spending my time in the best possible ways? Are there better things I could be doing? Am I doing things that will help me reach my bigger life goals?" So I get what you're feeling on some levels - if you figure it out, let me know! By the way, I LOVE the title of your blog. I would have to say I completely relate to the OCD tendencies! I should list "organizing" as a hobby, I think!

Eric, Mindy, Keegan, Brandt, Caden, and Brenna said...

How wild that you found us on Blogger that way! Yes, we went to college with the Kilcoynes and just found them recently via myspace.

Hope your family is doing well. Wow! To have kids that speak German is going to be cool.

Your blog page is beautiful! Blessings on your self discovery! :)

amy wright said...

I'm in the same position. I think that there has to be something out there that is my passion...and still be a SAHM. So far, homeschooling only takes about 1 hour of my day. I'm a bit bored. :)

amy wright said...

Oh...and I was not logged into the right account...and I'm glad that you are on here. Sometimes women give much better details than the husband. :)